Being disabled is hard. It’s different for every person with a disability. But for me, it’s exhausting juggling pain, fatigue, medical appointments, societal attitudes and barriers, and all the other normal things adults must deal with on a daily basis.
But I’m not always upset about living with a disability. Most of the time, I feel gratitude for the experiences I have had in life due to being disabled. These experiences have made me a more empathetic, inclusive, and fulfilled person.
Living with disability changes the way you think about the world and the way you interact with the world. These are some unexpected benefits of being disabled that I didn’t anticipate over a decade ago when I first started identifying as a person with a disability.
Understanding priorities and living in line with my values
I don’t have a lot of spare time and energy, so I must be careful and considerate with the time and energy I do have.
In another life, I think I’d probably spend a lot of time doing things I don’t care about because I wouldn’t be thinking about how I need to budget my spoons. I like that my disability has made me understand what I care about and leads me to make sure I am always spending my time and energy wisely.
I feel like when I look back on my life in five, ten, or twenty years, I won’t have regrets because I have been intentional with the way I live in line with my values.
Empathy, compassion, and connection with other people
I have had a lot of bad experiences interacting with people who don’t understand my access needs or judge me for my disability because I don’t “look disabled”. I have faced discrimination and barriers in the workplace and during my study.
These things are awful to experience, but I feel proud knowing that my experiences make me an empathetic person who can make people feel safe and included. I feel good knowing that in a world of many people who don’t “get it”, I can help other people with disability feel seen and included.
Being forced to have work-life balance
In another life, I’m pretty sure I would have pursued a career that would embody stereotypical success – maybe a lawyer, politician, or dentist. I would have chased achievement and wealth.
As a young child, all I cared about was achievement and how I could pile up more extracurricular activities. Living with pain and limited energy has required me to slow down from a full-time job to working four days a week. It’s been frustrating not to have a choice in the matter, but I get to experience more living.
Having friendships with depth and feeling truly known
I met most of my friends doing work in disability advocacy. They know about all my health issues and the things that can make me feel unwell. I never worry about being judged and I don’t have to navigate any worries that my friends will get annoyed if I must reschedule or can’t do certain activities because I know they care about spending time with me, not about what we are doing. The friendships I have are based on who we are as people, not about the activities we do together. I know a lot of people who go through life never really feeling seen by their friends or family, but because of my disability, I have made connections with people that I treasure.
Living with a disability will probably never get easier, but the rich experience I have in life because of my disability make it easier to accept the challenges that I’ll likely continue to face.
Article written by anonymous.
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